Obsessively Lame

A few weeks ago I came across a rant Edward Kelly wrote regarding, to summarize, a fraternal stupidity among many men(& some women) when talking about sexism & women’s rights. Much of it I can agree with off the cuff, whether it’s the stupidity of the Men’s Rights movement or the absurdity of some Republicans insistence that there is no difference between birth control & abortion. The rant left me conflicted due to how broad it was until later in correspondence with Edward, he reiterated his rant to me by clearing up some of his positions & explaining to a greater degree how they connect. In our email I explained to Edward roughly some of my experiences with sexism where I live, and he asked me to write some more about it. So here we go.


I grew up most of my life in Pensacola Florida. I have been told it is America’s first (un)official settlement, whatever that means.  At home I was told from a young age I’ll have to get a high paying job to provide for the lady in my life, enough to the point that she would never be expected to enter the workforce. Among my male peers growing up, a veneer of reciprocity with the opposite sex often times devolved into a zero sum game. That’s what happened when women were present, when my male peers thought women were out of their reach they let their sexual frustration go. Whether it was the tired joke of “leaving your signature” or any other number of unnecessary comments, it was all just lame.


This archaic chivalry I was being indoctrinated with at home and the stale comedy of my peers, all just came off as lame. The starting point among my family and peers in relation to the opposite sex is to treat them as objects. With my family, a woman is no more than a hobby, and among my sexually frustrated peers a woman is no more than a convenient release for their frustration. This wouldn't have been an issue growing up, if not for the sheer volume of it. That’s not to say I can’t be lame, or a woman can’t be lame to a dude, but the sheer volume of it is taxing on anyone.


I guess this is where you tune out, but not everyone was so lame growing up. One person in particular, my English teacher Mrs. Brown sophomore year, was probably the most instrumental person in convincing me that sexism was lame. The first day of class, one of my peers made a comment about her ass. Seeing a beautiful lady such as herself tear into the degenerate was both amusing and built a respect for feminism that I would carry to today. My prior view was that all feminists must have been crusties because that is how they were always portrayed to me, but here was an intellectually stimulating and strong female voice who just was tired of people being lame. Or at least that’s how I perceived it.


Since high school to today, the tools at which my peers and now the internet community at large have to be lame have grown astronomically. Whether it’s the absurdity of comments on any article/video now on the internet, the prolific rise of reply girl to infiltrate suggested searches for just about every popular video on youtube, or hearing about fellow college age males filming their sexual exploits with Go Pros then uploading the on the internet. It’s all just fucking lame, and in the latter case potentially illegal. The anonymity of the internet has taken the once local problem I had in highschool, and globalized it. Now they can all be lame, in aggregate, and I’m tired of wading through the shit. Being in favor of feminism is not about being a trumpet for equality, to me it’s about not being lame, and potentially supporting reproductive rights.